Who are you when nobody's looking?

the perfect words never crossed my mind 'cause there was nothing in there, but you.

____________________________

IKAW LAMANG/Silent Sanctuary

Di ko maintindihan
Ang nilalaman ng puso
Tuwing magkahawak ang ating kamay
Pinapanalangin lagi tayong magkasama
Hinihiling bawat oras kapiling ka

Sa lahat ng aking ginagawa
Ikaw lamang ang nasa isip ko sinta
Sana’y di na tayo magkahiwalay
Kahit kailan pa man

Ikaw lamang ang aking minamahal
Ikaw lamang ang tangi kong inaasam
Makapiling ka habang buhay
Ikaw lamang sinta
Wala na kong hihingin pa
Wala na

Ayoko ng maulit pa
Ang nakaraang ayokong maalala
Bawat oras na wala ka
Parang mabigat na parusa

Huwag mong kakalimutan na kahit nag-iba
Hindi ako tumigil magmahal sayo sinta

Sa lahat ng aking ginagawa
Ikaw lamang ang nasa isip ko sinta

Sana’y di na tayo magkahiwalay
Kahit kailan pa man

Ikaw lamang ang aking minamahal
Ikaw lamang ang tangi kong inaasam
Makapiling ka habang buhay
Ikaw lamang sinta
Wala na kong hihingin pa
Wala na

This is in line with the National Senatorial Elections due May of this year.  With several senatorial candidates advertising themselves like commodities being sold inside the grocery store, it becomes even more confusing who among them is of “premium quality.”  And, more often than not, people always end up buying a “product” with the most appealing packaging, or perhaps one with a more popular background.  It is rare that we find the best value for our money, and sometimes, joining the bandwagon is the easiest and safest choice to make.

But as you can see, unlike the real commodities we buy, the senators we elect in office cannot be consumed through utilization, or digestion for that matter.  The obvious logic here is that Filipinos should be more scrupulous in narrowing down their senatorial bets.  No colorful packaging or fascinating campaign jingle should deceive them and cause them to yield into the strategy of some of these senatorial candidates.  What this country needs are real platforms which offer the Filipino people alternatives.

This is not a carnival.  The Philippine Senatorial Elections is not an opportunity for candidates to display their talent, charm or magic of some sort.  Choosing the appropriate officials should not take popularity, humor, appeal of campaign jingles, not even television or photogenic quality as the criteria for judging.  I believe this is a nation they should be striving to develop, not a showbiz career.  It is about time that these would-be-leaders, as well as the general public, take the elections seriously.  We don't need actors; we need service oriented individuals with comprehensive platforms. 

It never hurts to start a fresh bandwagon.  We, as voters, can still do something.  It is not yet too late.

I've always loved summer.  The sand, the beach, the swimming pool, practically everything that sparkles under the heat of the sun.  But this summer is quite, well, different.  First of all, the heat level is way harsh.  I've seen local people on tv getting "the tan" and I can't help but laugh at them because they all look roasted (maybe toasted would be more precise to use).  Their color is very much far from the "latina tan" I believe they were aiming for.  I myself have spent hours prepping up because every now and then my skin would feel so sticky and oily.  In this case, we can always blame global warming.  But come to think of it, we might as well blame it on ourselves.

Anyways, I've had my own share of "summer fun" last April when we went to Pagudupud and I know I'll be seeing beaches again next month (*wink wink*) because everything's set already except that I still don't want to reveal the details just yet.  But then again, summer is not fun with summer classes.  I'm now taking 6 whole units in advance because I'm gonna die next school year if I get all 21 units for each of the two semesters.  I know I can get away with 21 units but that will be putting my social life at risk.  Haha.  Becoming a self-acclaimed nerd has never been an objective of mine anyway. 

Going back to my drama, it seems that some professors also change.  Like, what was I thinking?  Yes, I know they're also human beings but, in a different kind of way.  It's like this: they preach, I listen, they instruct, and I follow.  I deal with this crap everyday so that by the end of the sem they wouldn't have any reason at all to flunk me.  So yes, they're human beings, but they're powerful enough to take social life out of my total existence.  If you're also a student, I'm quite sure we're on the same line of thought. 

So how can I say they they also change?  Well, I have this favorite professor when I was still in first year college and I've been waiting to become his student again because I've learned so much from him the last time.  But now, he's not the way he used to be.  I just miss the "Sir ___" I knew during my freshman days.  And unfortunately, I can do pretty much nothing about it because I'll be caught dead talking to him about "his change."  Still, the bottom line is: he's none of my beeswax after all.

After being drawn into drama, I'm back to my candy eating habits.

So many things have already changed.  And just as the old saying goes, nothing within the limits of this world is permanent, except for change.  It is a phenomenon people have been constantly trying to control, but haven't completely succeeded in doing.  And as much as people want to try to ignore it, we all change just the same.  In a blink of an eye, one could lose everything.  No one remains on the top of his or her pedestal forever.

Getting bangs was the best thing I did next to KNOWING WHAT'S GONNA BE GOOD FOR ME.  Before, I was damn scared of eliminating things.  I felt that if I get rid of something, things may never be the same as it was before.  Detaching something from my life that has been with me for long was a choice I never thought of resorting to.  It's all just like getting "the bangs."  Hair all tied in a ponytail before was plain and safe for me, and getting my hair cut was something I really dreaded.  But as I was sitting there on the salon chair, watching my hair being cut while small parts and strands of it fall slowly onto the marble ground, I realized, change wasn't painful at all.  As Nicole Richie put it, you have to eliminate things not good for you so that in return, you can finally take charge of your life.  Living with something that doesn't make you feel good about yourself and doesn't help you get any better as a person is like throwing and wasting your whole life away.  And again, you wouldn't know the difference unless you try.